Back and forth. Back and forth. I forgot how high swings could take you. The woosh of falling forward only to swoop upward, pause in midair for half a heartbeat then rush backwards. Back toward the earth. Back to now.
I put my foot down to stop swinging and notice that I’m not wearing shoes. Odd. I know I had them on earlier. Some random pumps I scored at DSW for $32.99. Not too high, maybe an inch and half with sturdy heels that made the perfect “sexy echo” as my boyfriend used so say.
Used to say?
Still says, right? That’s something he SAYS.
I stand up and walk across the tanbark to a water fountain, the little pieces spongy beneath my feet. I pause then hop up and down a little feeling them give way underneath me. Spongy.
Spongy like how it felt under my hand when I drove the heel of my sexy echo shoe through his left eyeball. Well no. It wasn’t spongy at first, but when it finally punched through the sclera, that’s when it became spongy.
Holy shit! I actually learned something in Sensory Perception! You know, that was one of my favorite Psychology classes. I remember closing my eye lids and pressing gently on my eyeball- against the cornea and sclera, to produce kinetic light shows that only I could see. Better than staring at light too long and seeing spots. The impression of your fingers cause similar effects. Fucking A! Paul must have seen a laser light show with fireworks in the background when that shoe heel punctured his eyeball. I’ll bet it was amazing.
I’m going to meet him for dinner tonight. Talk about fireworks! He said he wanted to talk. I think he’s really going to do it this time. Its just that he’s been so busy, I haven’t had a chance to see much of him. For the last six months. But good things are worth the wait.
He’s read my letters. He’s heard my messages. He knows I’m ready.
I’m walking toward the restaurant now. I see the Maitre d’ through the window.
Today you snapped. It’s been building up, sure, but today you just couldn’t take it anymore. So far you’ve gone after your mother and your ex. Finish out your day as a serial killer. Your focus can either be on deep character development or on moving a plot forward.
CG Notes: Ran ot of steam. Will try to finish later